Starseed, lightworker, clairvoyant, good egg…it’s hard to sum up a lifetime of experiences into a succinct blog post, but here goes.
Please know I’m sharing not for ego or attention, but to help you understand that I’m not much different than you. The same pains and heartaches have touched me as well. It’s these uncomfortable experiences that have brought me here, as humble guide and as way shower of the divine.
CLAIRVOYANT FROM THE BEGINNING
I was born clairvoyant.
Not only do I have memories as early as 23 months (just shy of my second birthday–my first memory being playing among tombstones at my grandmother’s funeral) but I can remember encountering spirit at an early age. Unfortunately it was not all rainbows and roses.
At the time many of those energies were what I now call “the unfriendlies”. But in truth they were much darker than simply unfriendly. These were dark spirits, tormenting a young child who had no grasp of sovereignty or divinity.
All I knew is that I was terrified as the dark spirits would parade into my space and torment me. Now I understand that I came into this world spiritually targeted for my soul mission was disruptive to dark energy, but it would take years before I understood why.
As with all things these experiences helped me understand the full spectrum of spirit and now allows me to help others with a greater awareness of all and everything.
This dark energy pushed me to start dabbling in protection rituals that patched together from old dusty library books, to my excitement I seemed to be a natural at the mystical arts.
In my early teens (and as I stepped into my sovereignty) the worst of the unfriendlies faded, and a new stream of benevolent beings came rolling in.
A MESSY LIFE CHASING SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM
I had learned in early childhood that talking about the spirit world branded me as “weird” or worse. I decided early on I wanted nothing to do with spirit. But despite my protest the spirit world carried on, funneling every type of being into my consciousness.
Despite the spirit world parading in and out of my life I did my best to live a “normal” life.
My early twenties were a quieter time for my psychic abilities, between school and full time jobs I just didn’t have the energy to invest in spirit. I’ve since come to understand that supernatural abilities tend to ebb and flow. They can often take a back seat to the needs of this world and come back when they are most needed. Perhaps you’ve noticed the same?
But by the time in was in my mid/late twenties (and the big 2012 energy shift approached) the messages began to come in very frequently, a parade of beings rolled through. This was a time of intense visions and awakening and it would change my reality forever.
HIDING WHO I WAS
I desperately want to belong to the “normal” world. By this time I had a very mundane life, and I liked it that way. I owned a successful restaurant, I was married, I had a new baby. I knew if I shared my visions I would be excluded from my life, a life I worked so hard to build.
I didn’t tell anyone when my premonitions became reality.
I didn’t tell anyone when the deceased appeared before me, grey and melancholy.
I didn’t share when benevolent star beings (extraterrestrials) came through and introduced me to their home planet.
I didn’t dare share about the dragons (yes, dragons) that met me at my darkest hours to offer assistance.
I certainly told no one when I was given codes about the true nature of reality.
I was firmly attached to “making it” in this world and I was convinced there was zero room for anything supernatural. So I kept my supernatural secrets from everyone, even my then husband.
THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL (again)
But by my 30th birthday it all came crashing down, my husband left me for another woman and I was shoved out of all I owned by a well funded and lop-sided divorce.
This would be my third and darkest “dark night of the soul”.
It was then I knew, deep in my soul that I had not EVER followed my inner guidance.
I had always done what the world told me I should do.
I chased THE materialistic dream and ignored every whisper, every calling, every song my soul ever sung…and I paid the price. Cue tiny violins.
This wasn’t a punishment, it was simply a consequence of never following my heart.
My life had never been my own, my life was a charade for people who didn’t truly know me and never really loved me. I had worked so hard to be relatable, to be respected professionally, to be accepted…I realized no one in my life really knew me.
Maybe you can relate?
SURRENDERING TO MY PATH
Now that I found myself alone and stripped of everything that defined me, I realized the great error I had made.
Ignoring the direct messages all those years.
I had ignored my true self.
I had been so stubborn in my pursuit of a normal life.
I never wanted the life of a mystic. That was a path that terrified me more than the dark beings that had come calling all those years before.
All those thoughts that had previously chained me…
What will people think?
Would people still like me?
My husband will surely leave me.
My friend’s will definitely leave me.
My employees won’t respect me.
What in the world will I do for a living?
Now these worries were irrelevant. As I sat alone in the aftermath of a life now obliterated, I realized what had just happened.
The universe in its infinite wisdom had removed every barrier.
With no husband, definitely no friends, no job, most assuredly no business…I realized I had nothing left to lose.
All had was myself…and spirit.
The fateful day I finally surrendered happened to be the infamous Lion’s Gate Portal of 8/8.
If you don’t know what that is, it’s a date that many mystics believe brings us an opportunity to evolve further into our true selves. To step into our power. Of course I had no clue, well not consciously, but the soul always knows.
I cried a lifetime of tears, and surrendered to my guides and whatever path I was meant to be on.
Many other mystics have similar stories, of life pushing them toward their true path, the path we chose before we incarnated, the path of our highest light.
The more we resist what we came here to do, the greater our discomfort (or outright suffering) tends to be. For me, well, I had been extraordinarily stubborn.
RECLAIMING MY SOVEREIGNTY AND MY POWER
I spent years healing old wounds, doing the deep shadow work I now speak so much about.
And my visions and abilities began to grow exponentially.
- Sacred geometry began making an appearance almost immediately.
- Light codes washed over me.
- I saw the very fabric of reality, the organic holographic Matrix.
- I saw golden spirals swirling into my third eye.
- Literal vortexes opened up for me.
- Animal guides stepped up to assist me.
- Dragons came in to shield me.
- Crystals came in asking for me to work with them.
- Benevolent star beings called me home.
- I was given knowledge about multiple dimensions, the nature of space and time, the true core of reality.
- An much more.
To say my mind has been blown by what I’ve received would be an injustice to the information I now humbly share with all of you.
In September of 2018 I began a little Instagram account called Starseed Dreaming, and within a year I had the most beautiful community of fellow travelers and soul searchers.
Within that year I grew a dozen times over.
Within that year I made the dearest, wisest, most gifted friends.
Within that year I met several people who said the dreamt of me just before our meeting.
Within that year my guides stepped forward to gift me back myself.
Now I continue that journey with this website and the many offerings held within it.
This story is just my little abridged story, I share it so you can understand I’m not so different from you. I understand all the deep dark emotions so many of you also struggle with. I have also been lucky enough to meet and connect with the most spectacular guides, angels, and ascended masters.
My hope is that my story will help you connect to YOUR story, so you too may hear your heart song.
Much love beautiful souls.